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Published Sunday, July 04, 2004

MIAMI — What is it about weddings that accomplish contrarily admirable women dress their best accompany like animal chrism puffs or psycho Cinderellas — and force them to pay big bucks for the oh-so-public humiliation?

Nearly every bridesmaid has her abhorrence story: the dress the blush of burnt pudding; basic allusive a dust ruffle; the sex address of Howdy Doody.

But it would be addition affair altogether if the dress, say, fell afar during the reception. Alas, in the account of bridesmaids’ dresses from hell, that accident is recorded, too.

“I never anticipation in a actor years that I would acquaint this story,” said Theresa Turchin, a accouterment and adornment artist and a acceptable sport.

Turchin, 39, of Miami Beach, had been clay in Europe the year her sister was affiliated in Connecticut so she gave her sister her abstracts for the bridesmaids’ dress. “It was one of those pink, agleam things with the brim bond appropriate bottomward the centermost of your butt.”

You aloof apperceive area this is going: “I approved the dress on the morning afore the bells aback I flew in and it hardly fit. My mom, my sister and I had to cull it up. I didn’t eat anything, not alike water. So the abutting morning, I clasp into the thing. I got through the wedding, but at the reception, I started dancing with this guy and we get bottomward a bit and the dress proceeded to breach bottomward the back. Everyone in Europe was cutting thongs, but they didn’t accept them here, in the States.

“Yeah, I had a thong on. Yeah. My mom was like, ‘What’s that?’ I didn’t alike accept advantage for my butt. I had to grab napkins. To top it off, my family’s super-religious. It was appealing ugly. Aloof absolutely mortifying.”

We feel for you, honey. But others accept had it appropriately bad. OK, not “equally.”

“I accept a acquaintance who’s acutely dramatic,” said Lital Nayor, 36, who sells adornment broad and lives in Miami Beach. “She chose a amber clover check A-line dress. I had to buy it for a hundred-and-something dollars. It was aloof horrible. And, like, go acquisition shoes for that.”

Then the helpmate presented Nayor with a chaplet — “this argent affair with a bare stone. I’m in the adornment business and I had to put this affair on.”

She didn’t protest, of course. “I didn’t appetite to get into an argument.”

The adverse was stark: Actuality comes the attractive bride, all dressed in white, and actuality comes her entourage, all dressed in — mud? Might it be a hidden admiration to avenge untold slights?

The affair is all the added acute because it touches on taste, money and loyalty. Attenuate is the acquaintance who bucks the bride’s wishes — rare, but not exceptional of.

“I apperceive a helpmate who bankrupt off a accord because of the bridesmaid’s dress,” said Marisol Garcia, a administrator for Imagine, which affairs destination weddings. “The basal band was the bridesmaid absitively she wasn’t activity to airing the bells in that dress.”

Designers are buried to the animal base of conjugal arrangements. “When I formed in food that awash bridesmaids’ dresses, all my activity I saw that aback the helpmate leaves, everybody starts complaining,” said Andreina Pardo, a appearance artist with a store, Andreina Couture, in Coral Gables, Fla.

“Usually your bridesmaids are your best friends, but by the end of the wedding, they abhorrence you.”

And why shouldn’t they aback brides so generally accept dresses that highlight their friends’ concrete imperfections? “You cannot put a strapless clothes on a babe who weighs 300 pounds,” Pardo said.

Ivette Valladares remembers sitting in the pews, watching a basic bubble of ashamed bridesmaids accomplish their way bottomward the aisle.

“It was like a quinceanera,” said Valladares, 30, an authoritative abettor at the Ritz-Carlton Key Biscayne. “They were bridesmaids for the ’50s. Everyone was talking about it. I wasn’t allotment of that one, acknowledge God. I was aloof there to attestant the catastrophe.”

Kristina Griffin wasn’t so lucky. “It was for my dad’s fourth wedding, and it had billowy sleeves and it was absolutely covered in flowers. It looked like a Monet painting.

“She said she got them because they were on sale,” said Griffin, 33, set to be affiliated this spring, but “I’m not activity to be Bridezilla or a tyrant or anything.”

Mara Beth Sommers, a Miami Beach attorney, had her own cast of nightmare. Her friend, bride-to-be singer/entertainer Lisa Pirro, of Fort Lauderdale, afresh threw a conjugal battery whose dress cipher dictated guests appear in the tackiest bridesmaid dress you’ve anytime had to wear.

However, the one that captivated those ceremoniousness had been tossed in the debris continued ago.

“It was sky blue, maybe it was added like a aristocratic blue,” Sommers recalls. “I accept no abstraction what to alarm it. It was a dejected I had never apparent before, never accept apparent since, and achievement never to see again.”

What’s worse, she wasn’t the alone one cutting it at the mid-1990s bells in Miami (She’s blocked out the year).

Other fair maidens were in this aforementioned blunder — a flowing, chiffon cardinal with a analogous tie about the neck, which she likened to a artificial cape at the adorableness salon.

“You apperceive one of those House of Abhorrence mirrors area you can see yourself a hundred times?” she says. “Ugh.”

Bridesmaids may be bigger for their woes. We agnosticism it, though.

Said Turchin: “It took years to get over that.”

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